


Day One Hundred Twenty-One || Sanity

by 365daysofsasuhina



Series: 365 Days of SasuHina 2019 [121]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 00:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18680155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/365daysofsasuhina/pseuds/365daysofsasuhina
Summary: Many believe Uchiha Sasuke dangerous, unstable, deranged. Even his teammates watch him from the corners of their eyes. But at least someone - to some degree - seems to understand.





	Day One Hundred Twenty-One || Sanity

The rumors, though he couldn’t know for sure, Sasuke was convinced had started long before he returned to Konoha. About how he was  _ unhinged _ .  _ Deranged _ .  _ Insane _ . The longer his journey went on - the more desperate his actions became - the more depraved the people of Konoha assumed him to be.

Oh, but if only they knew the city of blood and bone they called home...the foundation built on the bodies of his kinsmen beginning with Madara’s betrayal. If only they knew just how much he had to avenge...to bring justice to.

And in reality, it went much further than that. The very system of shinobi had been crafting villages out of corpses since their foundings. Hence his wish to wipe out the prior Kage. To clear the slate, and make way for a new era free from the ideals of the people that had brought them to the brink of extinction.

Insanity in the eyes of many...but he’d thought the notion sound. The only way to let a dying tree recover...is to remove the rotting branches that hinder it. Only then can the wound close, and the flora flourish. If you leave what is diseased, it will only spread once you turn your back until the entire thing withers.

They claim now that those in power are leaving behind the ways of the past.

...he’ll wait and see.

For now, he’s back in the village of his birth. A place of conflicted feelings. It was here, for seven years, he lived with his clan. Not all happy memories, but...all he has left of them. And yet here, too, were they murdered for daring to stand up for themselves and against their oppression.

Only recently as the council been outed, the clans united against their executive orders. Having narrowed his gaze to tending to Konoha, rather than attempt to cure the world...Sasuke hopes this will be a large first step in trimming Konoha of its hindered branches.

But his return, though celebrated by some...hasn’t been so for many. The very day he arrived - and it’s going on four months now - he heard the whispers. Seen the sidelong glances, the scowls, the glares.

As expected.

In all honesty, he hasn’t been paying them much mind. He’s one of the two strongest shinobi in their world. He’s hardly scared of some wary civilians or petty chūnin. The only people who could really give him any trouble wouldn’t dare.

...but that doesn’t mean they aren’t among the masses.

Upon returning, Sasuke didn’t waste any time making his sentiments known. He still held resentment for his team’s treatment of him. Of Sakura’s shallow obsession, or Naruto’s so-called friendship. He’d confronted them before leaving: asking them how they could, in good conscience - after learning all  _ he _ had learned about the Uchiha, and the council’s decision to eliminate them - still think the best course of action was to drag him back, unwillingly, to his family’s slaughtering grounds. Better yet, when asked what plans they’d had to address such injustice?

Nothing. Not a word. Not a single hint or idea of how they’d have helped him seek recompense for all his clan had faced. 

“Admit it. All you two cared about was getting the boy you thought I was back,” he’d hissed, holding no bars. “Sakura, you wanted me to come back and fall in love with you. As if I ever could with someone so superficial. Naruto...you’ve always claimed to be my friend. But when have you ever  _ listened _ to me…? Taken my thoughts, my feelings, into account? Both of you...had imagined yourselves owed my time and attention. Because we were classmates, teammates,  _ friends _ . But when did either of you ever take the time to acknowledge all I faced…? All I’d gone through? Never. Any time I tried to think for myself - make my own decisions - you forbade me! 

“And on what grounds? You had  _ no right _ to decide my future for me...when you gave no thought to my past. I  _ chose _ to learn under Orochimaru. Never did I need your permission. Even if I was a missing nin because of it...it wasn’t your place to tell  _ me _ what  _ I _ could and couldn’t do in order to achieve my goals...goals no one ever offered me help with. Never did I want your attention, your friendship. All I ever wanted...was to get through my training, and avenge my clan. The rest was fodder. Unnecessary. A distraction. And whenever I prioritized my plans? Whenever I tried to leave behind what I never wanted in the first place? You took it as a personal slight. Tried to control me. I never _ wanted _ a team. Friends. No matter what you thought,  _ you weren’t something I ever asked for _ . So to act like I  _ owed _ you  _ anything _ ...was a joke.

“And it’ll be a damn long time before either of you learn that lesson...and longer still before you can make up to me all you did to me. The  _ only _ time I ever confronted either of you was when you stood in my way. Otherwise? I’d never had raised a hand to you. It was  _ you _ who put yourselves in my path. Impeded my progress. What choice did I have but to fight back? And when I dared stray…? Sakura, you whined and pleaded to Naruto. And Naruto? You insisted on  _ beating me into submission _ until I bent to your will. Without any consideration for what  _ I _ wanted, or needed. All that mattered was that  _ you two _ wanted  _ for _ me. That’s not friendship. Not even close.”

Needless to say...it left both of them giving him wary looks from then on. And he simply ignored them. He spoke his truth. His feelings on the matter. If they couldn’t see that...well, then he  _ still _ wouldn’t want them.

Even now, they too look to him as though he’s ready to snap at any moment. As though he’s entirely unstable, devoid of his sanity. Practically everyone outside his family assumes he’s a lit fuse, just waiting for the right moment to go off. As short as his patience may have run at times - as driven as he was, no matter what actions he had to take - he’s not that boy anymore.

But none of them bother to see that.

...none, that is, but one.

Hinata faced her own sets of challenges. Some, oddly enough, ran parallel to Sasuke’s own. Dismissive fathers, hurtful brother figures that showed truer colors, underestimated members of ‘royal’ dōjutsu clans...while Hinata may not have lost her clan, her so similar position in one meant understanding more than most.

Of course, her connections to the twins’ mother helped in that. She was privy to far more far earlier than the rest of them before taking down the council. She, therefor, was able to see Sasuke in a much more comprehensive light.

Never has she looked down on him since his return. Shied from him. Glared at him or whispered. She just...treats him like any other person.

And gods is he thankful for that.

“So...think I’m nuts like everyone else?”

She’d startled, looking to him in shock. “I...w-what?”

His head had tilted to the rest of their group. “...they all seem to think I’m a ticking time bomb. A landmine just waiting to be stepped on. But you don’t walk on eggshells like they seem to. Why?”

Pale eyes blinked, thinking. “...because...I understand what you did. And why. While I can’t imagine having l-lost what you lost...I have to wonder if I would have -  _ could _ have - done the same in their name. To me...you were v-very brave. Maybe flawed, in some ways...but you still put their justice above all else...even morality. And to learn that such a tragedy was orchestrated…” Her head had shook. “...I admire how you handled it, in the end. It couldn’t have been easy. But...though you made some wrong choices, you seem determined to make the right ones now. You want Konoha to be better. And...it  _ needs _ to be better. 

“So no...I don’t think you’re unstable.” Her head tilted, looking almost through him, or so he thought. “...I think...you’ve changed a lot. And g-grown. You’ve been through so much, Sasuke-kun. To make it out alive was miracle enough. I think...anyone in your shoes would have been just as affected as you were. Just because they didn’t experience what you did - just because they can’t understand - doesn’t m-mean they should treat you lesser. You’re doing your best...and doing better all the time. I hope...someday, the rest of them will see that.”

...would it be any wonder then, that one of the few he left with a clean slate - and who in turn let his be clean when he returned - would be the one he’d lose his heart to?

**Author's Note:**

> I...dunno if I did this QUITE as I wanted, but...as usual, I'm left to do this very late, with limited time, so...I did my best ^^;
> 
> The original fic that got me into SasuHina - A Traitor Branded over on FF - explored Sasuke's mental state a LOT. Granted, it was written long before the end of canon, and it varies quite a bit that way. And...there's some things about it, looking back now, that leave a bad taste in my mouth. But I DO still like how in-depth the author got into Sasuke's trauma and mental state.
> 
> I wanted to do some of that here, but...just not enough time / energy ^^; Maybe another time. But I AM glad I got to - at least in part - have Sasuke talk about how he saw his team's treatment of him. It's something I could write about for days: how they never actually were his friends, and simply felt entitled to him when he really wanted nothing to do with ANYONE due to his narrow focus and goals. Sakura's shallow feelings are, imo, obvious. And Naruto always just beating Sasuke's butt whenever they disagreed just...reallllly makes me mad. Hence honestly disliking when they're written buddy-buddy...and WAY more so when people ship them. Just...I can't see anything but Naruto's abuse of Sasuke ^^; At least in my interpretation, and everyone's is different~
> 
> But WOW I'm rambling - can you tell I'm tired? I should meta another time xD For now, bed. And as always, thanks for reading!


End file.
